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List: Posted: 11/02/11
Good relationships help build our character and expand our horizons. Being able to experience life with another person keeps us both motivated and grounded at the same time. All of these benefits of a relationship can be fostered by respect and trust.
Here are the top ten things you should never to in a relationship in order to have a successful and happy one.
Lying is tenth on the list because sometimes lies can be justified. ‘Do I look fat in these jeans?’ is one example of where a little white lie is okay at the clothing store. Without a few white lies, you might offend your partner. However, you should be as honest as possible in your relationship in order to develop trust and respect.
9. Grave Dig
We’ve all had arguments where we let go of our pent up frustrations and start nitpicking at things we dislike about our other half. If you two are arguing about his inability to commit, don’t bombard him with the list of other issues you have about him like not cleaning, always being late, not liking your mother, etc. Focus on the disagreement at hand and resolve one issue at a time.
8. Be a Hypocrite
If you don’t allow your partner to stay out late with his friends, you should hold those same expectations for yourself. Hypocrisy is a form of disrespect because you are telling your partner that he or she is not good enough to do something that you can do.
7. Be Jealous
The green-eyed monster results from a lack of trust. Jealousy often turns into hostility and eventually unfounded accusations. Save yourself the trouble and work on ways to build your trust in your partner.
Having time to yourself is one thing, ignoring your partner’s needs is another. If you care about your partner’s feelings you should want them to be happy. Try not to ignore your partner emotionally by closing yourself off or physically by not responding to their advances.
Studies show that gossiping about someone changes your perception about that person. Even cracking jokes about your partner can subconsciously affect the way you view him or her.
4. Take Your Partner for Granted
It’s easy to take a partner for granted the longer you’ve been dating. Show your appreciation often by offering to help clean, cooking a meal, or just giving then a big hug for no reason.
Undermining your partner’s decisions is a classic form of disrespect. This is more common if the two of you have children together but different parenting styles. Also, you can undermine your partner by not taking their words seriously, changing plans, or ignoring their advice.
Manipulation is one step beyond undermining and occurs when you try to control your partner. A manipulative partner does not value their partner as an equal and treats them as an inferior person who must be guided or directed towards the 'correct' action.
Abusive partners use fear, guilt, shame, or intimidation to gain full control over the other. It stems from an extremely low sense of self-esteem or other psychological disorder. Abuse can be in the form of verbal or physical attacks. If you feel you are abusive or being abused, seek professional help from a relationship therapist or a Domestic Abuse Councillor immediately.
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